Welcome to Woodcrest
by 4fireking
Summary: Jeremy was just a normal college student except for his mother being white and his father being black; he being white. He moved into Woodcrest, the once thought to be peaceful suburbs. That was until he met the black residents. Jeremy's world is about to turn upside down as he faces juvenile children, love, and comedy.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I just want everyone reading this to know that I am not racist. I have a girlfriend who is Africian American. I'm white, but the reason I'm writing this is because the Boondocks was racist and I just want to let out some racist slurs. Please review : )

OOO

Jeremy Robinson was heading towards Woodcrest to enroll in their college. Jeremy finished high school two years ago, and after so many boring days of doing nothing but watch Desperate Housewives, playing Call of Duty on his Xbox, and listening to Usher music, he was finally going to do something with his life.

Woodcrest was one of the most peaceful and mostly white suburbs of America. Jeremy's mother used to live here when she attended school, but moved to Chicago, Illinois with his father. Jeremy was bi-racial. His mother was white and his dad was black, which of course he was born with perfect white skin.

" _I made it, mom," _Jeremy thought as he looked outside his window. " _One day I'm going to make you proud." _

" Thank you for driving with me, Uncle Ruckus," the bus driver said, who was a fugly black man with a giant right eye and seemed to be a negro. " It is to my grave horror, yes it is, that we must end our beautiful journey together. May the white lord guide you all; nigga's go to hell."

" _Is he really allowed to say something like that to everyone?" _

" Now all you white folk have a nice day. And for all you nigga's, stay away from the white folk!"

The bus driver was indeed strange. When people of white skin walked off he tipped his fat to them, but to people who were black he hit them with a baton so they'd move exceedingly faster. Jeremy was able to walk out of the bus without getting hit.

" _I wonder what his problem is?" _

The moment everyone was off the bus the bus driver, Uncle Ruckus closed the bus and drove away. Jeremy shrugged and continued his journey towards the college, but stopped when he saw a small boy with large afro hair handing out papers.

" Excuse me, sir. Would you be willing to sign this petition of how the government wants you dead?"

" Eh, no thank you. Are you sure you should be out so late, little boy? You could get mugged out here."

" Huey, I'mma cut throat ya like OJ Simpson!" A loud boy shouted behind the afro haired boy.

A boy the same age as the little boy, maybe even a little younger, came running out of nowhere and stopped when he came up to Jeremy. The boy had his hair in dreads and a more sinister smirk on his face.

" Hello there, little boy," Jeremy said trying to sound nice. " What's your name."

" Name's Riley. Dis is my favor to you." Riley pulled out a gun and pointed it at Jeremy's head. " Yo, you go around snitching or dissin' and you'll feel my hissin'

" I'm scared."

" What? What about Ganstalicious's I fear no man but God?"

" Correction-God, and that one of you is going to kill me."

" I don't like snitches. Whatchu got against me? Fuck yo ass. I can't talk to the Po-po."

" Eh, don't you two have parents? Can I speak to them on why you two are out so late?"

" You don't want to get involved with us," the afro haired kid Huey said. " And don't eat the fried chicken around here. It will give you high blood pressure."

" We're nigga's, bitch-ass yo. We get high blood pressure."

" Would any of you two know where the nearest college is-"

" I mean, motherfucker, just like in Gangstalicious' revival."

" Revival. That nigga ain't dead."

" Shhh! He been shot a buncha times, aight? At least he tryin'!"

" Okay, okay, maybe I can find the college some other way. Nice meeting you tw-"

" I'mma going to kill the next hoe! Hoe!"

The little boy with the dreads started shooting from his gun. The sound of the gunfire made Jeremy run away at full speed. Somewhere, someplace, anywhere would be better than being around the two gangster children.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Last chapter was short I know, but that's just the way I like them. I hope this next chapter can be just as enjoyable. Thank you : )

OOO

Jeremy Robinson walked through the streets of Woodcrest looking for a the address writing on a piece of paper. While walking he had headphones connected to an Iphone listening to Usher music.

" This place is nice. Much cleaner than the last place I lived. "

Jeremy kept walking until he saw a woman was sitting by the road. Like the last boys he saw she was dark-skinned, wore a white shirt with short blue jeans, and had blonde hair running down her back.

" Hello there." Jeremy walked to the girl. She paid him no attention and stared at the road. " Are you waiting for someone? Is someone picking you up to take you home?"

" I would love to go home," the girl said in a depressed tone.

" Well if you want I could call you a cab."

Suddenly a long purple car drove in. The doors opened up and a tall, dark-skinned man wearing a purple suit, orange sunglasses, and a golden tooth walked out.

" Hoe, get in the car."

" Sir, who are you?"

" My name is a Pimp Named Slickback."

" Sir, why are you-"

" No, nigga, I'm a Pimp Named Slickback."

" Mr. Slickback-"

" No, nigga, I'm a Pimp Named Slickback."

" That's what I said. Slickback."

" No, nigga, I'm a Pimp Named Slickback."

" Can I just call you Slickback for short?"

" No, nigga, I'm a Pimp Named Slickback. Hoe, get in the car."

" Eh, Pimp Named Slickback that's no way to talk to a-"

" I don't want to go," the girl replied. " Pimp Named Slickback, could I please just have a minute."

" A minute? Hoe, I wasted too much time on you. Now get in the car before I bitch slap you."

" Hey, it's Pimp Named Slickback!" The small boy Riley shouted. " Yo, what's happening with you y'all?"

" I'm trying to get this hoe back but she is dissin' me. Now she better go before I recite her prayer. Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch. And guide my pimp hand and make it strong, Lord. So that she might learn a ho's place. Amen. "

" Amen," Riley said holding his hands together. " Ya."

Pimp Named Slickback tried smacking the hoe but his hand was caught by Jeremy at the last second. Jeremy squeezed his hands while glaring at him.

" Don't you dare hurt a woman in front of me!"

" What woman, sir. This here is a hoe."

" I don't know what your talking about. I don't see a single hoe anywhere."

" The nigga's soft! The nigga's soft!" Riley shouted. " Hell, he like a bowl of ice cream."

Pimp Named Slickback pulled his hand away and glared at Jeremy before walking to his care.

" Bitch, you better get in this car. Run bitch-run!"

The girl did as the pimp said and ran into the car with Pimp Named Slickback. He soon drove away with her in the back. Before she left however she hugged Jeremy. Jeremy was rubbing himself where he was hugged.

" The bitch is gone! Hell yea I'm cussin', but who is hussin'? Long live the homie, yo!"

" _What a...strange neighbourhood." _


	3. Chapter 3

Jeremy finally reached the college where he would be staying-studying in African American subculture. Jeremy was going to be staying in room 108. Jeremy had lots of things he expected to accomplish. First he was going to unload in his dorm, then he was going to visit hardware store to get his first college laptop, eat at restaurants; being a half-nigga he wasn't allowed to eat at Kentucky Fried Chicken since it gave him high blood pressure, and finally enjoy a movie of cinema's Gone With The Wind.

All that ideal thinking ended when he opened his door. Inside there were posters everywhere. Posters of rappers, movie gangsters, marijuana, and guns. Sitting on a bed was a dark-skinned man wearing a baseball cap talking on a computer.

" Yo, yo, I'm telling you man. That stuff will blow your fuckin' mind. Nigga, it's going to be like Snoop Dog and Vanilla Ice." Jeremy knocked on the door trying to get the man's attention. " I got to go." The man spinned his chair around looking at Jeremy in his eyes. " What up?"

" Umm, Is this room 108?"

" Yeah. What of it, broster?"

" Hello. My name is Jeremy. I'm going to be your dorm mate-"

" Yo, you got the stuff?"

Two more dark-skinned men barged into the dorm. One was a man with a fuzzy afro head and the other was a man with long dreads sticking out behind his head. Both of them were carrying boxes.

" We got the stuff. Now where's our stuff, nigga?"

" Hold on." The man on the chair took in a deep breath. " Let me see it." Both of the people opened the boxes. Inside was a pizza box and in the other box was cans of beer. " Yes. Pizza Hut."

" Now give us what's ours."

The other man threw a DVD case at both of them. They caught it. Inside was a blank CD-Rom with the words Blood Splatter written in black marker. Both of them nodded their heads.

" Yes! We are going to be rocking tonight!"

" I'm sorry, is this a bad time?" Jeremy said. " I could come back later if you want."

" No way! Come on inside! Get a slice. Get a pip. Chillax."

" Okay. My name is Jeremy again."

" Yeah, I heard you the first time, roomy." The man near the desk said. " My name is Max. Dready's name is Rick, we like to call him T-Dog, and afro here is Shawn, we like to call him Afro Dynamite."

" You nickname your friends?"

" Yeah, my brother. You want to play? We got four controllers."

" Eh, no thanks. I should really get..."

Jeremy ran out of the room. He ran down the hall. In the hall he saw a wrinkly faced woman holding a clipboard. Jeremy tapped on her shoulder.

" Yes."

" Excuse me, but could it be possible for me to change my dorm number."

" Sorry. No trading dorms; no exceptions. Bye."

The girl walked away. She saw two boys goofing off in their room and decided to break them up. The entire time Jeremy was thinking about how unlucky he was.

" Only three pieces left. Come have some pizza."


End file.
